Financial planning may not top the list of fun couple activities. And when you add another person’s financial personality into the mix, it can get even more complicated.
But getting your finances in sync as a couple can be a real game-changer. Building a strong financial foundation together not only reduces stress, but it can also strengthen your relationship. So, what’s the best way to approach money as a team? Here are some practical tips to help couples navigate their finances with confidence.
The cost of avoiding the money talk
Finances can put a strain on anyone - and relationships are no different. Research from ClearScore found 23% of couples only speak to their partner about money four times a year - and 20% say they wish it was more often. While financial conservations can make some feel vulnerable, it’s essential in building a solid financial future together.
Start with financial self-awareness
Financial transparency is a key pillar to any relationship. Couples who share financial planning are thought to have higher levels of satisfaction in their relationship. But before you get honest with your partner, it’s essential that you’re honest with yourself.
Start by understanding how much you’re spending and where. This could include how much income you’re bringing in, your pension contributions, any debts and general financial health. This will enable you to come to the conversation with confidence and transparency. Invite your partner to do the same before you sit down to talk.
Not everyone’s perfect - and neither are financial situations. Remember to show each other respect and empathy when discussing your personal finances. Once you’ve created a space to chat openly, it can become clearer to discuss long-term finances, like your retirement savings, together.
3 steps to take control of your retirement savings as a couple
Money can be a tricky subject to bring up - it can bring on all sorts of emotions from guilt and shame to awakening. But ultimately there’s no one right path because everyone’s circumstances and relationship with money is different. Figuring out how to plan longer-term finances, like your retirement savings, as a couple can feel like an even bigger task. But it doesn’t have to be. Here are three ways you can feel more confident about your future savings.
1. Find out where your pensions are
First things first, do you know whether you’re currently saving into a pension? If you aren’t sure but you’re employed full-time, ask your HR department. You’re likely enrolled in a workplace scheme - provided you’re eligible. Self-employed? You’ll need to set one up yourself. PensionBee offers a self-employed pension plan which allows you to contribute flexibly, whatever your income. And don’t forget about any previous jobs you’ve had where you may’ve been paying into a workplace pension. You may have a couple of pension pots that you can consider combining together into one plan.
When you find your pension(s), or start setting one up, make sure you understand:
- what type of pension you have (whether defined contribution or defined benefit);
- who your pension provider is;
- what fund you’re investing in;
- what the risk level is; and
- whether it aligns with your values.
2. Think about your retirement goals
Now you know where your retirement savings are, it’s time to think about how far you want them to go. PensionBee’s Pension Calculator shows you how long your pension could last and how adjusting contributions can help you reach your goal. Depending on your age, income and desired retirement income, you may want to consider increasing your contributions. Even a small boost now can make a significant difference over the long term thanks to free tax relief from the government, potential investment growth and compound interest.
If you find it tricky to think of an end goal when it comes to retirement, the Pensions UK can help. Their Retirement Living Standards show retirement lifestyles at three different income levels - minimum, moderate and comfortable. The table below shows the annual retirement income needed per couple (2025/26) plus examples of the sort of lifestyle you could have.
| Retirement Living Standard | Annual income | Lifestyle |
|---|---|---|
| Minimum for basics | £21,600 | Examples include one week-long holiday in the UK each year, £450 per year for clothing and shoes and some small home DIY improvements. |
| Moderate for more flexibility | £43,900 | Examples include meals out a few times a month, a fortnight abroad in Europe at a 3* resort once a year, £1,500 per year on clothes and shoes and a car which can be replaced every seven years. |
| Comfortable for some luxuries | £60,600 | Examples include regularly dining out, a fortnight abroad at a 4* resort in Europe, three long weekend breaks in the UK per year, £1,500 per year on clothes and shoes and a car which can be replaced every five years. |
3. Consider your future plans
If you and your partner have plans to expand your family, your pension might be the last thing on your mind. But while having children is a major lifestyle adjustment, it’s also a financial one. And that includes your pension and other long-term finances.
If one of you is taking time off for parental leave, it’s a good idea to continue contributing to your pension if you can. If you’re in a workplace scheme (and it’s a defined contribution pension), this will ensure your employer continues to contribute too. If you feel unable to keep up with the contributions yourself, your partner can do this on your behalf. This is a great way of preventing any pension gaps for the caregiving partner. Ultimately, it allows you both to build towards your retirement goals, sharing the family responsibilities. Plus it future-proofs your finances. Ensuring you keep building up your own pension savings means you’ll have some financial security should your familial or relationship status change in the future.
Building a secure financial future together
Future-proofing your pension with your partner isn’t just about making a sound financial decision - it’s about building the life you want together. With open communication, financial transparency and supporting each other through major life decisions, together you can build the life you want. Here’s a recap:
Get on top of your individual pension savings - make sure you both know where and how your pension is invested. And if you have any lost pots, track them down and consider combining and managing your retirement savings into one easy-to-manage plan.
Initiate open conversations - schedule regular ‘money dates’ to discuss your progress towards both your short-term and long-term financial goals.
Set shared retirement goals - define what a fulfilling retirement looks like for both of you and use the Retirement Living Standards to help you visualise the lifestyle you could achieve at different income levels.
Ensure equitable contributions - discuss and plan for balanced pension contributions, considering income disparities, career breaks and parental leave.
Utilise available resources - take advantage of free tools like PensionBee’s Pension Calculator to assess and plan for retirement needs.
Uneesa Zaman is the Founder of Ayda Invest, a platform helping Muslim women grow their financial confidence through ethical, faith-aligned investing. With a background in financial communications, she’s passionate about making money matters more inclusive and empowering.
Risk warning
As always with investments, your capital is at risk. The value of your investment can go down as well as up, and you may get back less than you invest. This information should not be regarded as financial advice.
